Why I refuse to give up this sacred human trait

My line manager passes me on the corridor this afternoon, “Minty, did you see the form I have asked our team to fill out?”, he says. Oh, I saw it alright. I saw that it had asked me to rank my week from 0 to 5 (0 being terrible, 5 being awesome). I saw that it had asked me to select which of my colleagues had been “helpful” to me this week. And I saw that there was a box for me to voice “honestly your concerns and feedback”.

What happened to conversations? What happened to our very humanity when…

A poem about the grit, grim and love of London

Sprawl for miles on end
Warm to the touch

And see glass
Side by side
With bricks and mortar
That tells of another age

Here lies history
Pre and post
These roads were made for marching
Where laws were challenged
Enacted, retracted
And change the world

The heart
Of once a great Empire
Now humbled
By tourist stands
And white men
Who bow down to
The roars of progress

The roar of
The people they once colonised
Now natives to this land
And a city
Of urban slums
Mixed between luxury and palaces

A poem about the pain of love

And I look you in the eyes
And smile when you presented me with a gift
The gift of pain, sorrow, heartbreak
The gift of suffering
Darkness, tears, doubt, self-criticism
And I held it in my arms
This gift you handed me
And knew exactly what to do with it
I shall alchemise it
And turn it into love
And turn it into strength and courage
And an awakening for my soul
And I thank you
And take my gift and leave

If you allow it, your pain and discomforts have the ability to unlock the door to the deepest love

My eyes are closed and I am in meditation posture. Lotus position on the floor of my bedroom, sitting on my cushion bringing gently my awareness to my breath, then my body, then my surroundings. I’ve done this a thousand times before. But today was different. Today I could feel deep inside my belly this feeling of sadness. And for the first time, instead of pushing it away whilst meditating, I curiously poked at it with my consciousness. Like a child discovering an earthworm, I wanted to see what it was made of.

The sadness started to bubble, it rose…

A poem about your wholeness and beauty, lean in my friends and lap up your own love

You are enough.

You are enough when the wind blows
And the clouds roll over for a summer storm

You are enough when the autumn leaves fall
And the trees stand naked in the cold

You are enough when the sun doesn’t rise
Till 10 am and the darkness envelopes you

You are enough when you walk down the street
Alone with only your own hand to hold

You are enough.

So enough.

You are the magic and creation
Of 13.8 billion years of evolution
You are the child of dying stars
You hold the lifeblood of the world
You are the babe to…

Observations from my own spiritual journey

I am aware.

Not all the time. Not perfectly. But enough for me to more than acutely know that I am alive. That I am a collection of incredible atoms that are the building blocks of organisms, living and breathing together in this human form walking around on planet Earth. That every moment occurs and then disappears.

I’ve been searching for enlightenment. I didn’t realise that’s what I have been searching for, but it is.

What does that even mean?

I think it means that I am searching for a way out of suffering. For a way out of my…

An experiment turned journey home to myself

It’s been almost a year now since I decided to experiment with being non-monogamous. And what a wild ride it’s been. I was, fortunately, blessed with beginners naivety, and am now doing the difficult work of learning and growing as I move along on this precarious path.

It started with just wanting to casually sleep with someone I knew. It didn’t feel like a big deal at the time — I found him sexually attractive and so the offer was put on the table. I was aware that I could develop an anxious attachment, so I deliberately set into motion…

A poem dreaming of simpler days

I miss
The morning sunlight
Shining through the windows
Warming out bodies
As your skin is pressed
Against mine

I miss
Carefree walks
Without a destination
The time to
Stand still
And stare at a tree
To skip through a field

I miss
Breakfast at noon
Naps in the afternoon
Evenings spent
Around the kitchen table

I miss
Simpler times
When life moved between us
And we gently
Moved with it
With nowhere else to be
And nothing else to do

A poem about dipping my naked body into a glacial lake

Stripped of my clothes
Naked and slippery
Over the rocks
Feet first, then whole body

Immersed fully —
Deep breaths and breathing
Until my heart feels at peace
Slowly the stillness overpowers me
And I breathe, again, gently
Feeling into the rhythms

The slow
Beat of my heart
The gentle glimmering
Whispers of my soul
As she tells me

“It’s okay —
It’s just the cold
There’s nothing to fear here
Only the moment of stillness
Of tasting once again
That the divine will pass

So be still my child
And take it all in
All your being deserves
To inhale
This glorious angelic moment
Of one
With you
The water
And the mountain.”

Musings: Working through the existential crisis one day at a time

Some days I wake up, and it’s the most beautiful day in the world. Every single encounter feels sacred. Every ray of sun that hits my face feels like a kiss from a cherished lover, and every experience I have makes my heart leap with joy.

Other days, I wake up, and the world is shattering beneath my feet.

It’s been almost two years now since I woke up to the reality of our planet and our existence. We are killing ourselves and everything we hold dear. Us — human beings. And we’re taking everything else down too.

On days…

Minty Horseradish

Not my real name — Self Experimenter. Poet. 浪漫 . Musings: Spirituality and Relational-Ships ❤

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